This morning as I flopped into my green Subaru wagon, my glasses hit the window.
my right lens popped out and hit the snow moistened tan and brown leaves on my driveway.
"Sheesh", I thought, "I'm late already". I was to meet my friend at the Roseville Library Dunn Bros. for a working session on our current project.
Then it occurred to me. I carry a backup pair of glasses in the top pocket of my rolling computer bag.
hunky dory and away I go.
My wife has a saying, "Have a backup plan".
I know she says this because I've heard her say it. Recently. Loudly.
We had a friend and her son staying with us for the past year, and things had started to fall apart for our friend. A divorce finalizing, bills due, school work behind, medication being missed, all these things began to take their toll on our friend, and the resulting fallout began to take its toll on my family. We, especially my amazing wife, found ourselves increasingly in the "care taker", perhaps even "enabler", roll for our friend as mental illness began to once again show its face in the full daylight of our friend's life. Our friend has strength of character, and is used to fighting this particular battle, but as familiar as this enemy is, she doesn't seem to have fully armed herself. She would frequently find herself in corners painted by her own neglect, forgetfulness, fear, or even paranoia. She began to turn to my wife more frequently for advice and counseling. Ironically, she also began to listen less to and trust less what my wife had to say.
My wife is a strong and wise woman, but being faced with these issues on a daily basis had worn her down. I heard her do what I'd never heard her do before, shout at someone outside of our family. Even with family members, she only raises her voice in times of extreme frustration and exhaustion. We really try hard not to yell at one another, and we normally view it as a sign that respect and communication have broken down. So when I heard her voice raised, I knew things had deteriorated pretty badly.
"Always have a backup plan!"
I'm thinking that if it has to be shouted, it's probably too late.
long come short, and we had to ask our friend to leave to preserve the hard fought peace of our home. She's got brothers to turn to, and she's got Veterans benefits. She's got a pre-built "backup plan", so
she'll be as "ok" as she will allow herself to be, but the little things in life, the broken glasses and lost keys if you will, will continue to take her by surprise.
I hope not.
Always have a backup plan.